Never in my life have I thought I'd be using the word "episode" other than its literary context. But that's how the doctor referred to what happened to me yesterday. And it felt odd.

I wasn't exactly feeling well when I woke up that morning. There was this slight hammering at the back of my head and I felt hot. But since I was just on half day duty and I felt that I was just having my arte moments, I decided to come to work. After all, I had plans that afternoon -- Rozz and I were supposed to have lunch and I wanted to go malling and buy my luggage already.

Yesterday morning was a usual day for coming to work. I was lucky enough to avoid that effin' entry stoppage at the MRT Q.Ave station, which they always do at around 7AM. I was standing in the aisle of the ladies' coach of the MRT so I had a relatively decent space. So I had my earphones on, listening to Avril Lavigne's Complicated on the radio at that time, when I just didn't feel like listening to her anymore. My head was already pounding so bad that time, still bearable though, but I just felt heaviness all over. Then my sight began discoloring. It was a sudden burst of dull yellow at first, then my vision started fading to black, like a flashback scene of a bad memory. I instantly panicked, not too obvious of course (because I was alone), and I tried to keep my eyes open. The last thing I saw was the San Miguel Building and it really got frustrating because I was trying to focus on at least one image but everything seemed to get darker despite my efforts not to shut my eyes. So I blinked, thinking that it would help clear out the darkness. Then I collapsed.

Right. In the MRT station. In Shaw Boulevard. While on my way to the office. How unglamorous could that get?! And that was my first time. I believe I didn't lose consciousness because I was hearing the voices around me. That they even called the guard to get me out the train. And I felt being dragged out to the platform area. Of the Shaw Station. haha.

I remained seated at the guard's post for a while. But just when I was ready to stand up and ride the MRT again, my hands began clenching involuntarily, so I had to knead them discreetly so as not to draw attention. I already looked ridiculous sitting at the guard's post; I didn't want to look more of a freak with my crooked hands. And when I finally got myself together, I stood up and decided to still take the south-bound train and go to work. Because I was thinking of the lunch and the malling after. And because I could have myself checked there.

I think I let 2 trains pass before I decided to just go back home. Aside from the fact that it was dark in that station and I couldn't distinguish whether or not I was having an episode again, my head kept on banging on the inside. If fainting wasn't enough, well I didn't want to embarass myself further by throwing up in public. When I got home and finally laid my head on my pillow, God, it felt like tipsiness that didn't deliver. And that's pathetic.

My mom came home after I texted her what happened, then we did blood and eye tests. Eye test came out clear; blood test showed some irregularities. CT scan turned out negative too. So we're left with neurologic and hematologic tests, which I have yet to undergo since I didn't have time yesterday. And it was raining and I needed the rest today. So there, I'm not yet fully cleared. I'm overreacting, but I can't help it coz I'm not exactly the healthiest person here and I still haven't done all the consultations I need.

What's worse is that my head never ceased throbbing until the last second before I fell asleep last night. And I woke up sweaty despite the rain and the semi-strong wind entering my room. I felt generally ok today; I feel normal, but I'd still feel heaviness in my head occasionally. Until I've had my neuro and hema tests, I would like to believe that I just got burned-out that's why I made a scene yesterday. And that regular dose of iron pills will suffice. And I would still like to believe that even after the neuro and hema tests.

I seriously need erase and rewind right now.

We did Friuli in UP last week. Jer, Jay, Grace and I.
Yesterday, we pigged out again. This time, with Rozz. And the food was LOVE.

Watched BFF after having lunch, then had dinner at Grilla Libis.
Pig out Playmates nung hapon, Drinking Playmates nung gabi -- kasi sumunod si Kriska.

We finally got the chance to get together again after.. kelan ba, last March's Laiya trip pa? Pag kumain naman kasi kami, kinakalimutan ang guilt. At masarap ang kwentuhan. Pagdating naming Grilla past 7pm, kain na naman. Ulit ulit ang sounds, nakakainis. Pero nung pinlay yung Disturbia, SHET, memories of last year's Bora getaway hit me and Kriska. Kaming dalawa na napasayaw kahit hindi namin forte yun. Kaming dalawa na may time limit ang pagdadrama.

By 10pm, mas buhay na ang music, and we kept recounting the moments from Bora last November. Na nakaka-miss, na bakit ba hindi namin ginagawa to last year, nung kumpleto pa kaming CX buddies. We stayed there til around 1am?

With Kriska, alcohol is a must. You'll just know that people are already drunk when they put their hands on fire. Literally. Intentionally. Jay did!

This Aiai-Sharon starrer is one of the films I hoped would be good despite its poster and trailer. It wasn't. I probably expected too much from a Star Cinema - Wenn Deramas - Aiai delas Alas team up.

BFF starts off with John Estrada's (Tim / TJ) funeral scene where we first see Sharon Cuneta (Honey) and AiAi (Frances) face-to-face. Then follows the narrative of how the three met. Tim was cheating on Honey with Frances. Honey's gym instructor was Frances. They all didn't know how connected they were to each other. Honey and Frances would exchange tips on how to keep their man, and the tips would work -- resulting to the other's disappointment.

One drunken bonding session between Honey and Frances, TJ called up Frances to tell her that he can't marry her because he has a family. That phone call which Honey answered because Frances was too drunk to function. Then comes Honey's revenge, the drama scenes, and the reconciliation.

Which would all have been far more entertaining if they casted a comedienne instead of Sharon Cuneta as Honey. Had it been Pokwang, the movie would have been more alive. The film was a confusion between comedy and drama. It was flat, dragging, and seemed to be a tutorial on parenting / friendship / marriage. There were funny moments and heartbreaking scenes, but as a movie, it wasn't that good. Lots of unnecessary characters. Parang ang bumuhay lang sa movie ay sina Chokoleit and Aiai. And Lito Camo's fat kid -- whose mere presence in any scene made me laugh.

There was just one line that got stuck in my head. One that I'd probably say.

In that drama scene where Aiai lying in the back of her van and her daughter found her crying there, she said:

"Ayokong umiyak sa taas (kwarto) kasi baka marinig mo ako."

Shet. Tears on cue ampota!

There comes a day in the year when Disney tries to touch the inner child in every one of us so we can relive our childhood memories. The iconic mouse will surely remind us of all the fantasies and fairy tales we've come to love...

Find the HIDDEN MICKEY:

My CX friends and I have been feeling the stress of work lately. It was a Saturday afternoon when my playmates decided to do beaching in Batangas the following week instead of a steady chill-out tambay session to celebrate Jerome's freedom from the hell that is Group Desk. But considering the other trips lined up for this year, I decided not to go; despite the pain I know I'd feel if I wasn't in the pictures.

Then again, after papilit moments, and after my playmates got almost all of our workmates to join that summer getaway, I felt the need of joining the trip. More importantly, Kriska and Grace were mixing again.

So, March 14 it was -- Project 151 as KR/GM call it. Kinikilig na kaming lahat sa excitement. Kasi summer, at halos lahat kami kasama. The "DRS" had been sent out and we were all set to hit the beach. Biggest summer getaway to date; there were 19 of us. It was the same weekend last year when we had our Tagaytay trip. There were 15 of us, and Robee and Yvette were still there. Yea, too early for the drama in this entry, pero every single time, we had a "sana nandito si Robee" moment.

After work that Saturday, four cars after, one stopover for lunch later, and lotsa opinions on the road, we finally got to Laiya. Caught the sunset, may kinakasal pa. Na siyempre hindi namin pinalagpas. And like I said, "If you can't pull off a grand beach wedding, better not do it on the beach." Because observant people will always be there.

Batch by batch, we caught up with each other, at yun na, hindi na nawalan ng alkohol sa kamay tong sina Kriska at Grace. And yeah, true enough, no one touched the alcoholic drinks except for them. And we had no choice but to succumb to every tagay.

We had dinner after the first round, after Coy went all red. Liempo, chicken, and adobo love it was. Thanks to Doña Cruz. After dinner, we playmates had our Anabelle Rama talk, na napakasakit na sa panga, then we realized that people started going back to their rooms to freshen up. This was when Maddie got imbyerns, but KR, VR, LM, and I stayed behind. "Kaya walang nababasag kasi puro sila break!" GM declared with all frustration. hahaha. Pero cool lang, they were able to successfully pull off Project 151 naman after everybody got back. And Lea and Arvin were there to get wasted na rin. Lea and Arvin who had a VERY hectic Saturday, with lotsa events to attend.

And we were up til 5am.

Aside from Kris, Punky, Lea, Arvin... and Jer, and Apol, and Coy. The latter three na talagang tumatakbo at nagtatago, makapunta lang sa mga kwarto nila. Si Jer na tumatakas na naman, dahil na-trauma nung bumagsak siya nung Tagaytay trip last year. Nung dumaldal sya nang bongga. "Dizzetch na aketch!" Pero ok lang. We had fun. It was Jayson's turn to get madaldal this time. And as for Vin, Vino, and Buddy... sila pala ang undisclosed trainors sa Mr. Valentine. Apologize and Breakdown, in dim lighting... you get the picture. hahaha.

The next morning, the beach freaks Kriska, Rozz, Vino, Grace, Jer, and Apol got up at 7am. They woke me up, and for some reason, gumising naman talaga ako at bumangon agad. The bitches finally hit the beach. Krispy-ng krispy. Konting beach hours lang yun. Most of us stayed in our rooms to take short naps.

It was almost noon when that summer getaway officially ended. That was a Sunday, and we'll have to face the reality of work the following day. Well at least, Jer's back on the TS floor again, entertaining passengers with his plasticity. We were looking forward to having Jerome back, because we lost him for a while there when he went through that tormenting inferno at the back office.

One week of planning, and the summer getaway materialized. Love. Thanks to Kriska and Grace. We owe you a lot. You made that trip happen eh. And we'll have more, ok? =P

(So can I work the drama now?)

True, this year's Laiya trip was the biggest getaway to date, but the void that Kat, Yvette, and Robee left can never be filled. Rozz wasn't exaggerating when she said na lagi naming sinasabi na "Sana andito si Robee." If we were to tally how many times we've said those words, daig na daig pa ang TA Summary of Calls na nila-log ko. (Mind you, nakaka-2 pages ako pag nagla-log!) We've always had those moments since you left; since you guys left; and we just felt it more last weekend. (Thanks sa phone patch btw.)

Kat was our favorite impersonation subject. We lost a mascot when MNLKUM left. We miss her mannerisms. We miss her grammatical errors. We were supposed to do "sand vandals" as a reply to her "snow vandals" in YVR. Didn't get to do it though, pero gets? We were thinking about her all the time.

And when there's Kat, there's Robee. That Jinky and Manny video at the Thunderbird Resorts was classic. There was this certain set of songs that reminded us of Robee. When we shot Goodbye before he left, we got inspired to make music videos every month. (Inspired lang, hindi nag-materialize. But still!) So we were supposed to do All Saints' Pure Shores as our "summer vid" and Heart's These Dreams for Kuya. We were too tired to shoot that weekend, pero dibale, in time, magagawa din namin yan! At basta, it's just that Robee not being with us is simply not the same.

And Yvette, of course. Coy reminded us of Yvette, pero siyempre, Yvette is Yvette. And that space that she left will always be hers. Isa pa yang si Yvette na sobrang game sa kahit anong bagay. Kahit inaantok na. Kahit masakit na ang paa kakalakad! That Batangas weekend was the weekend before her regularization in EY. Of course, we couldn't have known, alangan namang pangunahan namin ang Mar16. But anyway, Yvette, just take it as your pre-reg party. =)

So before this entry gets all incoherent again, let me end it na.